Reapsody Mods (
reapertoire) wrote2018-01-06 08:26 am
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graveyard
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Well, that sucked! That might be your first thought when you open your eyes to find yourself in a lavishly decorated room with a nice, soft bed. Or maybe you’re thinking about something else, it doesn’t really matter, since the only important thing right now is that you’re alive. Sort of. You’re still dead, but you also still exist, so that’s better than nothing. Whenever you decide to leave the room to venture out into the rest of the building, you’ll find that… hm. You sure have found yourself somewhere interesting, and there are plenty of places to explore. Foods from all of the weeks prior can be found in the hotel’s kitchen, as well as an entertainment center in the next room; just because you’re dead-dead doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun while the Reaper’s Game continues. Dare you try your luck with the ice cream machine in this weird place…? Or do you explore the mysterious board game that rests on the lobby’s table? Nothing’s stopping you. You’re absolutely able to leave the hotel, by the way. As soon as you step outside, you’ll find yourself in whatever area is currently open to the remaining Players for the current week. The only thing is, in addition to being invisible to the shadowy denizens of the RG... it seems you can’t interact at all with your fellow active Players in the UG, either. Weird! But that’s okay, you’re not totally alone in this limbo-squared! There are others around who you can interact with, and you might recognize them as the other people who have been Erased during the course of the game. In fact, there’s one rather special resident of this place... it’s none other than Dahlia Hawthorne. You might remember her as Utena Tenjou’s murderer from the first week! Upon seeing you, she smirks, welcoming you to the party. “Did you really think you'd seen the last of me? Welcome to the Under-Underground—the loser’s playground, a failure like the rest of us,” she taunts, swirling the teacup in her hand with an almost gleeful look in her eyes. Then, as if to preempt whatever the new arrivals wish to respond with, she rolls her eyes and adds, “The stupid name wasn’t my choice, by the way. As if I’d choose something that dumb to preside over.” ![]() private conversations ☠ murder proposals ☠ money full nav |
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You aren't to blame. Even though we all know why we're here, we can't help but want to trust others. I believe that even though we didn't survive, it's not a quality to toss away lightly.
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[ And also sophisticated? ]
More importantly, how have you been faring? You are.. were, outnumbered, were you not?
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Yes, unfortunately. Though you all did well at my trial despite the hardships and I'm grateful for that. [After a pause, in which it feels like Lion wants to speak more:] But... it's been hard not to feel like a failure for dying at all.
[Lion had only one thing to do: live. It was all anyone asked, all Beatrice asked. To live. The simplest task and Lion had now failed in it twice.
A rueful smile.]
So, I know how you feel at least.
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[ How many had made sacrifices so that she could live? And she'd disappointed them all in life and death both. ]
In the name of levity— I suppose it's a little shameful that we were both such early victims.
[ It's a bad joke? But they've already hit rock bottom so nowhere to go but up, right? ]
If anyone here has been giving you trouble—
[ A sharp intake of breath ]
I will end them.
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A slight smile comes to Lion's lips.]
You're truly a brave and strong person. I'm fine, thank you. I won't be easily bothered by anything thrown at me now. I played the game as no one but myself and so I have nothing to be ashamed over. And, if I may be so frank, I don't think you do, either.
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I hope with time I can believe that.. thank you.
[ She leans in a little, hand cupped over her mouth in an attempt to be secretive— though her voice is very much not a whisper by any means. ]
Truthfully? I'd hoped you'd had some issues with some of the others who reside here, if only to give me a reason to antagonize them. I'm still a bit surly, if I can be honest— a bit of confrontation might do me some good.
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I understand. I think I... became a bit of a recluse. I've been keeping to myself— moping, if I'm honest with you. But my inaction hampered your trial. That's how it feels, at least. So I can't let myself sit by any longer. Even if it doesn't happen again, I'll be on standby to help the others.
[With an almost fond sigh.] And there's someone who would scold me terribly for brooding as long as I have. I can't give him something to hold over me later.
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[ She'd lose her mind too frankly— though she thinks she'd be more aggressive than anything else. That was probably the most marked difference between the two of them.
Some people (Eleanor) just want to throw fists. ]
By someone do you mean you mean Izaya? He does seem the type to lord these things over another person, granted I didn't know him very well.
[ I mean? Farrah couldn't even tell me if Izaya would top or bottom for Eleanor so? ]
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Oh, no. If Izaya ever reaches here, which he had better not, I'm going to scold him until he can't sit for the next month. [Though, somehow still fond? Look, Lion can't help but be fond of this shitlord.] Though, I'm certain he would have some spiel about human nature ready to cheer me up.
[It's hard to tell if that part is sarcastic or not.]
I mean my partner, Will. He's a rude and obnoxious detective. [This time, it's definitely fond.] And he would absolutely loathe all of this. I think he would have been excellent at this game, though. I tried to keep his methods in mind but...
[Lion clears their throat, trying to shake away the thought of the last time they saw him.] Apologies if I'm talking too much. I don't want to be insensitive to how you're feeling right now.
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[ It's really something, the two of them as prim and proper as they are, crouched on the floor, trading not quite secrets in broad daylight like children. ]
I didn't have anyone that I left behind in life but.. I was rather fond of the people I met here.
[ Caren, Chuuya, Mary.. and Shinssin most of all. ]
It's a foolish.. but somehow all I feel is grief. They all continue to live, and I want them to live, but there's something about it— I feel like the wind is stripped from my lungs if I focus on it for too long.
[ There's dying, and then there's being erased. The word has an uglier connotation. How soon will it be before the others forget? There's nothing left of them after all. ]
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It's an easy feeling to get caught up in. I've had time to process it but I... also keep coming back to it.
[A miracle. That was what both Will and Bernkastel referred to that fragment as: a miracle. And as hard as Will fought to protect it, Bernkastel so easily denied it. The miracle Beatrice wished for was still meant to perish in front of her. Even now, Lion wonders how long they'll be in this limbo before they're erased. It feels too much to hope that they'll make it.
And Lion doesn't just want to live for the sake of others, no. They'd only just now started to understand their family and themselves. It felt like the start of a new life. They wanted to try to understand more, just a little more, about their own thoughts and feelings, their own heart. They wanted to live.]
I want them to live but... I feel grief and jealousy at the thought, too. I don't know if I could have killed an innocent here but... I was ready to fight for this chance. I don't mean to say I deserved it more than anyone else, of course. But I think you understand seeing your happy ending ripped away.
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I'm sorry— you just, you reminded me of something someone told me.
[ Despite having Lion's handkerchief at her disposal she wipes at her face with the sleeves of her jacket. It's far too large and very clearly not hers, but she's grateful that it followed her into this place. ]
Typically.. I am a rather bullheaded person. I feel one thing, and I feel only that one thing. But here—
[ Here things mix, black and white into gray tinged with red. ]
— this is worse than death, all we can do is watch. When they forget about us, all we can do is watch. I want them all to move on, to find happiness, but even after they forget, after they win, won't we be stuck here? Left with all the things they couldn't remember.
[ Left with singed jackets, left with the knowledge that they'd been pieces of other people's narratives with none of their own. ]
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[Though Lion feels bad for triggering another unpleasant emotion in her, maybe it's better to get them out instead of bottling them up.]
But I'd rather be dead, truly dead, than that. [Being forgotten and alone for the rest of time seems much more terrifying than any possible afterlife or non-existence.] I just— I just wish I could... feel like I hadn't wasted this chance. That person I mentioned, Will, he fought to give me a chance. And I died back there despite that. And then here, again. It just... it feels like such a waste. It makes it hard to believe in any sort of caring higher power, to make a mockery of the sacrifices behind us, too.
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So many had sacrificed so much for her in life and death, just so that she could live, and here she was— worse than dead. ]
A waste is exactly how I feel— this is my penitence for being a waste, it's something worse than death.
[ She wants to tell them that if this Will truly cared for them there was no way he could ever think such a thing. But she knows those words mean little, knows that they would be of no comfort to her personally.
So instead, she leans a head on their shoulder, the weight of the tears she'd shed making her eyes feel heavy. ]
Perhaps I have no one to blame but myself, for allowing myself to take kindness from people that I didn't deserve. But you were better than all of this.
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I was naive for walking into a trap. I shouldn't have trusted people I barely knew. I don't know what I was thinking, especially when Izaya may have had trouble finding a partner afterwards. I could have also cost him his life.
[But they don't want to dwell on that. What she said bothers them, because:] They didn't deserve your kindness but I'm glad you have it. What I said before, about playing the game as myself, I think... it's important. I won't speak for you but for myself... I had hoped to come out of this only by fighting those who deserved it. I didn't want to eliminate anyone with a truly good heart. So while I'm upset... [To put it mildly. 'Upset' can't cover it.] I'm glad I didn't get used by those people either.
[In some ways it might be worse to be a footnote on their pages, a notch on their belt of kills, but Lion has to draw strength from something. Knowing they didn't get to use them to eliminate other innocents or deceive them into voting a lamb to slaughter, anything like that, is the one thing they have left.]