[ She deflates, much like any child would after using an excessive amount of energy in one burst of a tantrum. All of it is hard to stomach, harder to rationalize; but she is not so immature, so childish, as to throw all of Monika's kindness away by closing her ears and heart. ]

It's suffocating— to want someone to be free and happy, but also to want to dig your nails into them and never let them go.. never allow them to let you go.

[ She shakes her head, dabbing at the tears with the sleeve of his jacket yet again. ]

I hate it.. on occasion I think, I may hate him as well. Because it's so much easier to do that.